


The Prices We Pay

by RedPen1992



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Jealousy, Love, M/M, Major Character Injury, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28520484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedPen1992/pseuds/RedPen1992
Summary: It was supposed to be him.
Relationships: Akainu | Sakazuki/Kizaru | Borsalino, Aokiji | Kuzan/Kizaru | Borsalino
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	1. Sakazuki

**Author's Note:**

> For  
> Chi, Ham, Myst, Bossa, Time, Tobi, Hans, ChimChim143, col, levi0007, and Ivan
> 
> I really appreciate y'all <3 Let's have an awesome year<3

It had gone wrong from the beginning, and Sakazuki hadn’t made the situation any better. Their intel had been false, their approach was not fitting for the situation, and they paid the price. 

Borsalino had paid the price.

It was supposed to be him. 

He put them in that position, lead by blind rage and stupid confidence into the middle of a battle they should have never engaged in. 

It was cold down in the medical wing, pacing up and down the hallway hadn't done anything to calm his nerves. Hoping against hope that Borsalino would pull through, that he would be alright. 

The injuries had been grave, he had been on death’s door by the time Sakazuki was able to get him back to the ship to be treated. Sakazuki had thought he had died on his back at first, he had looked so pale and felt so cold. He will never forget the weight of his slack body, the sticky warm blood dripping down his back, his final words to him. 

Sakazuki buried his face in his hands, it should have been him. 

It would have been him. 

He was focused elsewhere, and had done exactly what he always told Borsalino not to do. Sakazuki had exposed his back, hadn't even realized he had before he was pushed out of the way. 

The next thing he knew, Borsalino was on the ground. The horrible wet _schluck_ of the oversized bisento being pulled from his shoulder spraying blood everywhere, the light of Borsalino's sword dissipating into the air as his body lay limp at Sakazuki’s feet. 

Before the bandit could raise the weapon again Sakazuki had already lopped his head off, the large burly man falling to the ground with an impact that shook the land like a mild earthquake. He finished the rest of them quickly and returned to Borsalino’s side as fast as he could. 

Why hadn’t he said it? 

Borsalino's voice was so weak, so frail, so sure it was the end and he smiled up at Sakazuki. He smiled against the pain and dizzying blood loss and asked Sakazuki to say it back. 

If he had said it would he make it? 

Tearing his shirt off he wrapped it around Borsalino, trying desperately to keep the wound closed and watching horrified as the shirt began to quickly darken with crimson blood. His hands shook against his best efforts as he tied a knot as tightly as he could manage and tried to keep Borsalino awake. His blood was everywhere, the earth was muddy with it, Sakazuki's hands stained red. 

He spoke calmly, as if accepting his fate.

“I’ll say it when you survive!” 

Borsalino had laughed, huffing out a small chuckle before passing out completely, eyes reluctantly fluttering shut. 

Sakazuki’s blood ran cold. 

“Borsalino? Damnit, Borsalino stay with me!” Sakazuki scanned the area, no help was coming. 

No back up. 

They had gone in without it and weren’t expecting it. 

No one was coming, if Borsalino was going to have a fighting chance then Sakazuki was going to have to carry him out. 

He grit his teeth, moving him like this wasn’t ideal. The wound was deep and bleeding profusely, already lying in a pool of his own blood when Sakazuki hauled him up and ran as fast as he could past the mutilated bodies of the fallen bandits. 

“I won't let you die. Not here. Not now.” He grit his teeth and almost stumbled over the uneven dirt path, “I’ll say it when you survive. Do you hear me?” Of course Borsalino didn’t hear him. “We made a promise." 

He just needed to make it over the ridge and down to the pier and Borsalino would be alright. He had to be alright. 

“We are going back to Swallow and we are going to do it.” 

Sakazuki could feel the imprint of the ring hanging around Borsalino’s neck digging into his back. The chain that held it hadn’t been damaged when he had been struck down. 

“I made this out of the old knife I used to protect us when we were kids.” Sakazuki handed the chain linked necklace over to Borsalino, who picked it up reverently from the small yellow box. His fingers danced over the individual links as he marveled at the gift, Borsalino had looked up at him and his face lit up with that brilliant smile, eyes watering slightly he blinked them away and pulled Sakazuki in for a kiss.

“You got me that nice Sake set,” Sakazuki grunted as he almost stumbled again, he could feel the panic and adrenaline coursing through him despite his best efforts to remain calm. He had to remain calm. “We are going to use it.” 

He could see the ship from over the ridge now, all he had to do was make it down there. Sakazuki readjusted his grip and started down the incline, “I promise I’ll say it when you wake up.” 

Talking to him was useless, he wouldn’t reply. He couldn’t reply. His lifelong friend, his companion, his fiance… was dying on his back and it was his fault. 

If he wasn’t dead already. 

Sakazuki pushed the thought away as soon as it dared enter his mind, he wouldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let that happen. 

He didn’t stop for questions when he reached the pier, instead rushing to the medical bay and getting Borsalino onto a bed as quickly as possible. 

He was so pale. He lost so much blood. 

Sakazuki nearly collapsed out of relief when they said he still had a pulse. It was weak… but Borsalino was still alive. 

“Pull through.” Sakazuki clutched the necklace in his hand as he continued pacing, the silver ring with the inlaid red diamond digging into his palm. 

He had put on his own ring as if that would help at all, glancing down to his left hand a matching silver encasing a yellow diamond adorned his finger. 

It had been a few hours since Borsalino was rushed to surgery, Sakazuki had stubbornly refused to leave the area to clean himself, so one of the nurses had brought him some warm washcloths to help get some of the blood off of his body along with a fresh set of clothes. 

After what felt like an eternity, a doctor opened the door and stepped out, taking off their mask and glasses as she looked up at Sakazuki. The woman looked tired, worn out. Her eyes were heavy and shoulders slumping. 

Balling his fists and gritting his teeth, Sakazuki muscles tensed as he braced himself for the news. The first time he opened his mouth to speak no words came, swallowing hard and trying again. “How is he?” 

The doctor closed her eyes and nodded, she looked like she was about to fall over from exhaustion. “Rear Admiral Borsalino was dealt a mortal wound, but thanks to your quick thinking and crude first aid,” She took her gloves off and wiped the sweat from her brow, “He stabilized.” 

Sakazuki couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped him, clutching the ring to his chest he took a shuddering breath in. 

The doctor looked him over and then smiled lightly, eyes resting on his left hand. “We were able to surgically reattach all of the muscles and tendons, as well as repair the subclavian artery that had been nicked …” The doctor let out a deep sigh, shaking her head. “Though he is stable right now he is still in critical condition. We will be moving him to one of the private beds and once we make sure he is settled in you can come see him.” 

“Thank you.” Sakazuki tried his best to calm his heart, Borsalino wasn’t out of the woods yet. 

The doctor made sure to tell him that too, Borsalino was still just barely hanging on, having to receive multiple blood transfusions, the long surgery would take a toll on his body. She was uncertain he would wake up any time soon, but for now things look good. 

Nodding and giving his thanks once again, Sakazuki watched as she disappeared back behind the twin doors, waiting to be called again mulling over what she said. 

“It helps the recovery process to have someone there with the patient, someone to come back to, someone to fight for.” 

The minutes stretched on as Sakazuki resumed his pacing. The relief felt bittersweet. 

A nurse eventually came to fetch him, leading him to a private room, bleak white walls and wreaking sterility, various machines hummed, beeped and chattered to one another over Borsalino's unconscious body. She instructed him to press the call button if Borsalino woke up or there was any significant change to his vitals. After saying his thanks Sakazuki walked around the foot of the bed, taking a seat on Borsalino’s good side and delicately took his hand. 

It was an odd feeling, holding Borsalino's hand without him squeezing back, usually so responsive and enthusiastic about any physical affection he could get. 

There was a fair amount of bandaging done to his left torso, peeking out from the light gown they had tied around his front for the sake of decency. The thin blankets pulled up to his chest looked too thin to keep him warm, but he looked to be doing alright. 

Some color had returned to his face. so peaceful in his rest, so still and unmoving. His chest rose and fell to his slow and shallow breaths while the EKG beeped a steady drumming beat. Sakazuki glanced at the monitor regularly for any indication that Borsalino was doing better but sussed out no meaning from the various numbers that flashed and fluctuated across the offensively bright screen. 

Sakazuki bowed his head, brushing his thumb over his fiance’s knuckles. 

The seconds passed too slowly, each moment stretching on into its own lifetime as he sat trapped inside his mind.


	2. Kuzan

Kuzan wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he opened the door, all he knew was that Borsalino had been out for a whole day since the incident. Whatever happened had been serious, forcing Borsalino to go through hours of surgery in critical condition and had been unresponsive ever since. 

“Hey.” Sakazuki looked strikingly similar to a guard dog, his aggressive mug eyeing him as Kuzan neared the opposite side of the bed. Dark circles hung low under his eyes, his short hair mussed up and matted. His regular red shirt had been replaced by the standard Marine Tee, a dark blue with the emblem on the front. 

His hat was missing. 

“You look like hell.” 

He turned then to his unconscious friend, frowning as he was unprepared for the surge of emotions, clenching his teeth and pursing his lips against the heavy dropping feeling in his chest. “How’s he doing?” He hadn’t meant to whisper, but he suddenly found himself having to talk around a lump in his throat. Kuzan tried to swallow it down but it wouldn't go away. 

His former teammate said nothing as he returned his gaze to Borsalino. Kuzan caught the way Sakazuki’s lip twitched after a few moments, how he grit his teeth, so he waited. 

“I don’t know.” Sakazuki took a slow breath in and growled through his teeth as he breathed out, “I- …” 

_No._ “He’ll pull through.” Sakazuki looked up at Kuzan with a confounded look on his face, eyebrows drawn together. Anyone who hadn’t spent enough time around Sakazuki might easily mistake it for anger, but if Kuzan stretched it he might have called it hope. “You’re an idiot if you think otherwise, we both know he is stronger than this.” _There isn’t another option. He’ll pull through._

With a single curt nod of assent, Sakazuki returned his gaze to Borsalino, his shoulders relaxed minisculely. 

“You stink.” Kuzan brought a hand up to pinch his nose, “You smell like death, you know.” 

That earned him an annoyed grunt, a raised eyebrow. Every reaction was too slow, too lethargic. It was like seeing a zombie in his friend's body, almost surreal to see him run so ragged. 

“Go shower off, would you? Also get a change of clothes.” Kuzan waved his hand in front of his face to emphasize his point, “When was the last time you washed yourself?” 

“I have to-”

“No, no, no.” Kuzan waved off Sakazuki’s rebuttal, knowing already that he would say something ridiculous like he _has to stay with Borsalino no matter what_ or some other horrible excuse to ignore his personal health. “Arara, you are so stubborn.” He scratched the back of his head and sighed exasperatedly, “You want him to wake up to you all dirty and stinky like this?” 

A flicker of annoyance danced under the haze that clouded Sakazuki's eyes, muted as quickly as it appeared Kuzan still felt a little bit of relief at the shadow of normalcy in this situation. 

Still… he wasn't kidding about Sakazuki stinking, he really reeked of death.

“He will be fine with me for the five minutes it takes you to go clean yourself, Sakazuki.” He let out another exasperated sigh, scratching the back of his head again and really looking at his fallen friend. Finding himself deeply unsettled by how still Borsalino lay, even his eyes were unmoving under his eyelids, Kuzan felt his gut sink even further. 

Much softer, under his breath Kuzan whispered, “He’s my friend too.” Movement from his periphery indicated Sakazuki had heard him. 

Borsalino was eerily still, the usually boisterous man that flit about with the brightest smile on his face had been rendered into a deathly quiet state. How had this happened? 

The brief hadn’t been filled out by Sakazuki yet, which was almost unheard of. That robotic man always got everything done as soon as he could, but instead this time he played guard dog by his partner’s side, probably lost in his own mind with his thoughts. 

Sakazuki really could be an idiot sometimes. 

“Get the hell out of here and don’t make me pull rank.” Vice Admiral Kuzan sat down in the empty chair adjacent Sakazuki, much too tired of the conversation. 

Sakazuki growled something under his breath, gritting his teeth as he stood up. He marched himself to the door but before he left he turned around, eyes lingering on Borsalino for a few moments then resting on Kuzan thoughtfully. “Thank you.” 

He left no room for Kuzan’s reply as he exited and shut the door quietly behind him. 

Kuzan let out an exasperated sigh, shaking his head and looking at his unconscious friend, “Arara…” He reclined in his chair. “I don’t know what he would do without you…” He had taken a peek at the medical report before stepping in, a large blade had cleaved into his chest just millimeters from being immediately fatal. 

The nurse had helpfully told him that Sakazuki had carried Borsalino into the Med Wing himself and hadn't left his side since, "I think they are married." She had said, somber and moved by the Marine's heroics. 

She must have seen the rings. 

“When we were kids,” Borsalino started, fiddling with the iron chain in his hands, passing it link by link under the cleaning cloth and polishing each piece to shiny perfection, “Sakazuki always carried a knife with him, jagged ugly thing.” 

Kuzan lounged out on the dingy old couch, propped up by mismatching pillows sipping his sherry wine mid day, legs thrown over his friend’s lap watching aptly as he focused on his task. The light poured into the small apartment through the kitchen window, illuminating Borsalino just right from the angle Kuzan lay at. He looked angelic. 

"It served its purpose though," Borsalino paused from his work and reached for his wine, taking the stem of the glass in his delicate fingers and lifting it daintily. He swirled the dark pink alcohol in the glass and brought it to his nose like a sommelier, with poise and elegance that befit him. In another life maybe Borsalino would have been one, and they could have met at a wine shop where Kuzan would have seduced him with his charms. He watched enraptured as Borsalino brought the glass to his lips and took a sip. 

To be envious of a glass of wine, he must surely be mad.

“By the time he retired it the blade was dull.” Borsalino continued after setting the glass down delicately. “He smelted it down himself and made this for me.” When was done polishing it he slipped it back over his head, placing it reverently around his neck the silver ring rested on his chest. He took the ring in the palm of his hand and gazed at it with all the adoration of someone hopelessly in love, lost in a sweet memory. 

Kuzan wondered briefly if his expression looked the same. 

He buried the idea under another swig of alcohol straight from the bottle, his glass having run dry a long time ago and too lazy to reach over to fill it to drink the wine properly. It was easier this way anyways, to drown that horrible feeling in his gut and that ache in his heart, the caustic grief at the back of his throat. It made it easier to say his congratulations, hoping it didn’t sound as bitter as it felt on his tongue. 

He really wanted some wine now. 

“You jumped in front of him didn’t you?” Kuzan asked, the feeling in his chest twisted like a jagged knife. It was the only explanation, Borsalino would never let a physical attack hit him otherwise. “Borsalino…” His voice wavered, unable to finish his thought out loud, unable to trust his voice to deliver his words without breaking. 

It's fine. He shouldn’t voice those thoughts anyways. 

Standing on unsteady legs he was forced to use the railing on the side of the bed to steady himself, leaning over the bed slowly Kuzan placed a chaste kiss on Borsalino’s forehead careful not to jostle him. “Be more careful.” 

As he sat down he bit his quivering lip and leaned forwards resting his elbows on his knees, rubbing the palms of his hands against his watering eyes, “You’re coming back to more than just him, you know.” 

The rest of the time they spent in silence until Sakazuki came back. 

“Arara, that's much better.” Kuzan lounged back in his chair and hoped he had done a good enough job of pulling himself together, he thought his voice sounded steady enough to pass for alright. “Now you won’t make him pass back out when he wakes up and gets a whiff of you.” 

It looked like he had gone back to their apartment and gotten a fresh set of clothes, along with some paperwork that was no doubt the debrief. A new hat sat on top of his head. 

Sakazuki grunted in response, the corner of his lip tightening just the slightest bit before dropping back into his default trained scowl. 

Deciding to take the small victory, Kuzan just smiled and tried to adjust to the horribly uncomfortable chairs. Falling into a surprisingly easy silence with his former teammate, Kuzan closed his eyes and tried to tune out the sounds of the Sakazuki’s pen scratching the paper and the various beeping and trilling of the medical equipment. 

A small groan snapped both of their heads up at once, bearing witness to Borsalino’s eyes slowly fluttering open, blurred and unfocused still dazed from his long period of rest. 

“Borsalino?” Sakazuki was up out of his seat and at Borsalino’s side before Kuzan could blink, following suit quickly and getting to his feet. 

Borsalino groaned again, testing his vocal chords and reaching a hand out blindly for Sakazuki, who took it within both of his own. Sakazuki leaned over so that he was hovering over Borsalino’s line of sight, waiting for his eyes to refocus on him before saying, “I love you.” 

Chuckling lightly, Borsalino rasped, “I must be in Heaven then, what a wonderful~ thing to wake up to~” The usual lilt of his voice sounded scratchy and weakly muted. Sakazuki leaned down to give his fiance a light kiss on his lips. 

Kuzan diverted his eyes as he felt like he was intruding on a moment, his heart twisting itself in knots fighting between the overwhelming relief he felt over Borsalino finally waking up and the gut wrenching petty jealousy he knew so well. 

Borsalino was going to be alright. 

Borsalino would live to brighten up another day, and Kuzan could blessedly keep his unattainable light in his life. 

The revelation punched a sharp exhale from his lungs as his shoulders relaxed, “I’m glad.” 

He nearly jumped when he heard his own voice, he hadn’t meant to say anything but it seemed his mouth made the decision for him. Both his friends looked over to him.

“Kuzan?” Borsalino squinted in his general direction, practically blind without his glasses on. “Ah~ ” He smiled at him beaming with joy, Kuzan smiled back. “I’m happy you’re here too.”

Borsalino returned his gaze back to Sakazuki who was still hovering over him and Kuzan took it as his cue to leave, “I’ll go notify the nurse.” 

He turned and left the room, shutting the door with a click.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! :D 
> 
> This was originally supposed to be a oneshot in "Through The Years", but I couldn't make it work with the birthday theme without it seeming forced ... and then Kuzan waltzed into the story and woops its a two chapter ordeal now XD


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